Personal Mythologies Coaching
What follows are my reflections of my second coaching session with Annalise Lewis of Manifesto. I've written up the first one about archetypes on my blog, as well as my reflections on the Myths We Live By workshop which introduced me to her work.
I have a tendency to 'push through' when I encounter resistance/obstacles in life. I call this 'Beast Mode' and it takes me from a place of comfort, through useful stress, into a place of strain. It means that I potentially don't have great interoception which would explain why I ended up with Stage 3 Overtraining Syndrome...
(Side note: I haven't always been like this! In fact, I can remember clearly choosing to try in life, but also "go with the flow" and see which doors opened for me. Pushing against doors, both physically and metaphorically, is only something I've done in the last decade...)
Annalise and I explored my tendency towards what she calls "moralising productivity" - the Protestant work ethic instilled in each of us. We also discussed novelty versus safety, and giving myself permission to be less legible and palatable to others.
I tend to build these 'megastructures' which actually end up constraining me. Annalise asked what would "energy efficiency mode" look like for me? I answered it would allow me to approach things with a sense of ease. She talked about the problem of "effort inflation" where I could be dialling the volume up to more than I'm feeling to ensure relational safety.
A better approach, we decided, would be to approach things in a seasonal way. Understanding that there are times in the week, month, year, or life, for things. In other words, I need to think of my own life as a system to design to help me flourish.
We discussed different types of "viability":
- A legible, packaged "service" (cookie-cutter)
- Stewardship (sherpa) - pattern-finding, sensemaking, high tolerance for risk & ambiguity
The idea is that #1 could lead to #2 by building trust with potential clients. Much like Annalise has done with her workshops, which led to this coaching.
Annalise mentioned Ida Persson's work which I've noted here.
We discussed doing an annual review of work which focuses on energy as well as money, enjoyment, etc. When do I want to work? Can I be more intentional about that? For example, in 2023 and 2024 I took three weeks off in April, and then again in August, and December. Is that the best time for chunks of time off? Could I focus my work between:
- January - March
- May - July
- September - November
I discussed the French Republican Calendar and my side project. We discussed different conceptions of time and how it is a construct.
Annalise differentiated between scaffolding & infrastructure on the one hand, and plans & routines on the other. A bit like a trellis for a plant, where you have room to grow.
Finally, we discussed helping clients understand what it might look/feel like to work with me. Treating the trial and error of designing ways to communicate with clients more intentionally as a design challenge. I set myself the task of thinking about what will have changed by the time I'm 50 which is only five years away:
- How will I ensure I don't get burned out?
- How will I honour/express my archetypes?
- How will I unlearn my protective coping mechanisms?
Overall, a very worthwhile session. I've got lots to think about and explore!