I've been feeling a bit like this recently

One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of him, waved about helplessly as he looked.

– Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis

I'm not fat, but I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I spend too long on screens. I should do something about that. I've considered getting an Apple Watch (with LTE), not to replace my Garmin smartwatch, but to use with something like the miniphone ultra case, in order to turn it into a tiny phone.

That would work pretty well, except:

1. I'd get sucked into the Apple ecosystem
2. I would only be able to reply to Signal messages
3. It's another technology fix for a non-technology problem

Usually, when I'm conflicted about technology, it points to a deeper issue or malaise inside myself. In other words, I tend to use tech as a external proxy for inner feelings.

Right now, I'm in the reservation queue for a Steam Machine which I could buy to replace my Mac Studio. The thing is, I really like my Mac Studio, but happens to be inconsistent with my TechFreedom sensibilities. Of course, it's my life, I can do what I like.

As ever, I try to rationalise my way out of this kind of situation, but because we're embodied creatures it's never quite as easy as that. And because, as my recent overtraining shenanigans have demonstrated, I'm poor at interoception, it's like trying to ride a bike with your hands crossed: you can do it, but every so often you tend to lurch from one side to another rather suddenly.

So the thing to do, really, is to put my phone in another room and have a book next to me or something else more productive to do. Oh, and eat fewer carbs, run a bit more, and generally get over myself.

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Image via Existentialist Memes