Parenting adult children

Parenting is hard: you always feel like you're making mistakes, and looking back you always think that you could have done better. That's particularly true with my son, currently 19, who will be moving back in with us for next academic year.

This is good parenting advice for people approaching my situation - i.e. having adult kids. (My daughter is 15 but, a bit like me at her age, seems to know her own mind better than her parents know theirs!)

A few lessons I’ve learned along the way:

Ask permission before giving advice.

Nobody enjoys a surprise lecture. Listen first. Talk less. Wait until they’re actually open to hearing what you have to say.

Normalize the messy twenties.

Life doesn’t follow the same timetable it once did. Careers, marriages, and home ownership often happen later than previous generations expected. The twenties are less about arriving and more about setting the table.

Share your own mistakes.

Young adults connect with honesty. They don’t need to hear how perfect you were. They need to hear about the bad decisions, wrong turns, and uncertainties you faced when you were their age.

Set expectations at home.

If your adult child lives with you, support them without creating a permanent landing pad. Independence requires responsibility. Clear boundaries prevent resentment on both sides.

Take care of yourself.

One of the hardest lessons of parenting is accepting that you can’t control someone else’s choices. Focus on your own passions, friendships, health, and goals. Your children are building their lives. You should keep building yours, too.

Source: Sandbox World